I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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