google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She's the barista slut.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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