I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
