seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
