Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
