get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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