If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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