she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
