The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
