I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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