She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
