I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i love accidental penises.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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