ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
