it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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