Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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