I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
