dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
