mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
