he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We're too hungover to prance.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
