I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
