someone owes me an orgasm
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
