this just has baby written all over it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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