Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
