GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
