Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
