just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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