I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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