Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
