She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The struggles of a small town man whore
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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