ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
