VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
