i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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