I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
