bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
