No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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