Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
