Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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