It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My dick has a subreddit
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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