i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
