Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
