i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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