i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
