well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
