Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
