Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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