I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
