You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
