i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
