Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
