All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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