you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
