More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
