She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
